Miserable At Best
by OhhhSkyler
Summary: Logan realizes he made a mistake. Logan's POV. SONGFIC: Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade


**Author's Note: I was listening to Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade and this idea popped into my head. So I just wrote it. I hope you enjoy. Reviews aren't a necessity, but they are appreciated! D**

_--_

I never will forgive myself. Why couldn't I be the boyfriend type? Why couldn't I just hold her in my arms and say, "I want you. Only you."? Why did I agree to just be friends? Why would I give her up? Why was I so stupid?

_**Katie, don't cry, I know  
You're trying your hardest  
And the hardest part is letting go  
Of the nights we shared  
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting  
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright  
And when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but I want it so**_

If I told her I wanted to be her boyfriend, I would be with her right now. She would be dancing the night away with me, not talking with some guy I don't know. He doesn't deserve her. I do. I'm the one that needs her. Not him.

_**Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
(I know he's there)  
You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
(While across the room, he stares)  
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes**_

How could I be such an idiot? I guess that old saying really is true, "You never know what you had 'till it's gone." I look back over at her. She's accepting his hand to this dance. It feels as though my heart is being torn out of me. Yup, that saying is definitely true.

_**Because these words were never easier for me to say  
Or her to second guess  
But I guess  
That I can live without you but  
Without you I'll be miserable at best**_

She's trying to look happy with that guy, but I truly know her. She's not happy, she is the exact opposite, just like me – miserable. I feel ashamed for letting her go that easy. I should go crawl under a rock and stay there. But I can't because I'm too selfish. I need to see her every day, otherwise I just might as well die.

_**You're all I hoped I'd find  
In every single way  
And everything I could give  
Is everything you couldn't take  
'Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away  
And the hardest part of living  
Is just taking breaths to stay**_

Oh god, she's laughing. She laughing at something that bastard said. I can't deal with this. I need to tell her how I feel. Tonight? Yes, tonight. Not now, of course. That would just make me lose her. Later on, though. Yes, later is better.

_**Because I know I'm good for something  
I just haven't found it yet  
But I need it**_

Praise the Lord! The song is over. Crap, she's going to the bar with him. I need to pull her away and tell her the truth. I'll just go over and 'accidentally' bump into her while I'm getting a drink. Yeah, that's perfect!

_**So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
(I know he's there)  
You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
(While across the room, he stares)  
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes**_

I walk over and 'bump' into her. "Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry." I say.

"Oh, don't worr-,"she looks at me and smiles slightly.

"Oh, um, hey Logan."

I smile. "Hey, Ace. How have you been?" I ask her. She just shrugs in response.

"I've been better. What about you? How have you been?"

I decide to tell her the truth. "Terrible," Okay, now keep talking. Tell her the truth. "I miss you." So, okay, it was the truth, but that's not all I meant to say. Man, this is harder than I thought it would be.

"I mi-," she was cut off by her phone. She looks at the caller ID and smiles. "It's my mother," she tells us both. "She said she would call when she wanted me to come home." She looked over at the other male. "Goodbye. I'll probably see you at the next event."

She looks over to me. "I'll see you around, Logan."

"Yes, you will definitely see me around, Ace."

_**Because these words were never easier for me to say  
Or her to second guess  
But I guess  
That I can live without you but  
Without you I'll be miserable at best**_

I see her at the coffee cart the following Monday. She dropped her coins on the ground, just like she used to. I go over and help her pick the change up, as always.

"Hey, Ace."

"Oh, hey Logan. Thanks for your help." She says as I give her the money.

"It's no problem. How was your mom's?"

"Uh. . . Hectic. Things with her and Luke haven't been going to well lately."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, me too."

"Okay, enough with the small talk. There's actually something I needed to ask you. Well, and there's something I need to tell you, also."

"Okay, shoot."

"Which do you want to hear first?"

"Um, how about the question."

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "I've been trying to forget about you these past few weeks, and truth-be-told, I can't. I tried, and tried, but you were stuck into my brain. I finally realized it was because I want you to be in there. No, I _need_ you to be in there. I haven't even thought about or looked at another woman since we called off our relationship, if you could even call it that. The truth is, Ace, and this is what I wanted to tell you, is that I love you. I love you more than life itself. I'd give anything up for you. Anything. My black card, my heir to the Huntzberger Company, anything. You just have to name it and it'll be long gone. I love you, Ace. I need you. I want you to be my girlfriend and make me the happiest man alive."

_**Ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh**_

"I, um, I, er. . ." she stumbled for the right words.

"Come on, Ace. Just tell me the truth. I need to know if I have another chance with you or not." I crossed my fingers. Please, oh please, please, please say yes.

_**And this will be the first time in a week  
That I'll talk to you  
And I can't speak  
Been three whole days since I've had sleep  
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek  
And I got to the point that I should leave you alone  
But we both know that I'm not that strong  
And I miss the lips that made me fly**_

"I. . . I have to ask one question before I give you my answer. Okay?"

"Yes, anything. Ask away."

She bites her lip. God, I love that. "Why me, Logan? Why do you love me?"

_**So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight  
(I know he's there)  
You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
(While across the room, he stares)  
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes**_

"Because, Rory, you make butterflies in my stomach whenever you're near me. And when I kiss you it feels as if there's no one else in the World except you and me. Because you have the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen in my entire life. And how you bite your lip when you're thinking. How you're innocent but it's so extremely sexy. Because you're smart, and wonderful, and better than any other girl out there. There are too many reasons I love you."

She stared into my eyes and I saw she was crying. I put my hand on her face and wiped the tears away. "I love you, Ace."

_**Because these words were never easier for me to say  
Or her to second guess  
But I guess  
That I can live without you  
Without you I'll be miserable  
And I can live without you  
But without you I'll be miserable  
And I can live without you  
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best**_

"Good answer," she said and sniffled.

"How good?" I ask.

"This good," she said and kissed me hard on the lips. I kissed her back. She pulled away after a minute, and I groaned.

"There better be a good reason you pulled away."

"Oh, trust me, there is."

"Well, what is it?"

"I love you, too," she told me.

"I love you more," I told her and kissed her passionately.

_--_

**A/N: Did you like it? Anything I could change or do differently?**


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